Learning Lessons the Easy Way

Posted by Wesley Wilson on October 24, 2010 | 5 Comments

When I first got hurt, my biggest fear was returning to high school with my friends. I was so scared that things would be awkward and weird. How would they see me? Surely it would be different. I wasn’t that guy that everyone hung out with anymore. I was the disabled kid that was just trying to finish high school. I needed ramps built and doors widened and schedules altered just to manage. Obviously things would be weird and different now.

The first day I went to class was a roller coaster of emotions. I was nervous, scared, frantic, and maybe a bit….excited! Even though I was certain things would be different, I at least was back in a surrounding I knew. When we entered my first class, everyone rushed over to hug me and welcome me home. Of course, emotions got the better of me and I started crying. They thought they had hurt me when in reality, they healed me tremendously.

My parents had planned to stay all day with me to get me to my classes and lunch but from the very beginning, my friends argued over who was going to push my chair to which class and who would sit beside me to take my notes and do my work with me. They simply took over and all but told my family to go home. Once they were certain they weren’t hurting me, they even fought over who could sit in my lap to ride down the ramps!

Our small town has always been close-knit and there for each other. Of course there will always be the petty banter of a small community but when it counts, they are there. My friends only saw me as Wesley. Just because I wasn’t standing or walking, it had no bearing on our friendship. They just saw me! They showed me over and over what “true friends” really meant. The way they supported me and helped me was a huge influence on building my confidence up and they helped to teach me that my disability didn’t define me.

So, as I look back, I realize how important of a lesson that is. Everyone doesn’t have the disability I do but everyone has some issue in their life that if they let it, can and will define them. I was lucky to learn the lesson quickly….

Have you?

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Comments

What words..

Posted by Rofknorne, 23/07/2011 6:14pm (7 months ago)
Ok, I don't know how to keep up with you folks. I got to work this morning at 6:45 am and it is now 8:45 pm and after reading these comments I am pumped! Look at all you have endured. Look at all you have accomplished. Look at all that the future holds. We'll get the video of Wesley and Tracy on the website tomorrow. I hope we get to be part of your future for a long time. There is nothing y'all can't do.

I still don't know how we're going to keep up with you ... :-)

Posted by Tom Jakobs, 26/10/2010 8:56pm (1 year ago)
As Wesley's grandmother (nannie) I am very proud of him. Things have changed alot. His parents were not at home the afternoon that he got hurt. I was called to go to the hospital with him. I have never been so scared in my life. Every family member that I called was not at home so I had to make the decision to move him to another hospital not knowing if it was the right thing to do or not. His parents got to the other hospital soon after we got there and I could turn it over to them but it was still hard. I didn't know if Wesley was going to make it or not. Wesley has more faith in God than any person I have ever seen. I have learned so much from him in the last ten years and am so proud of him. Pray for him.

Posted by Ruth Dodson, 26/10/2010 12:02pm (1 year ago)
A parents point of view is often just as hard to learn as the person themselves... As Wesley's mother I too was scared to death not only as to
how he was going to make it , be accepted back at school, or to even have the strength to meet the challenges that I knew he was facing in his future but I was terrified as to how I was going to be seen, how people were going to react to me , were they going to think that I was a bad parent for this happening to my child. However my greatest fear was am I going to be able to shield the things from my son that might make his life harder...
I had to learn I could not shield him from any of it... that the challenges and hard times was what made us stronger and that we had to face these things together just as we had always done before the accident.
What many of you may not know is that before the accident Jay and I (Wesley's Parents) had always placed high expectations of both our children, Wesley and Jennifer not to be the best at everything but to Do the best they could at what ever they chose to do.
In Wesley's case he chose to be involved in the large animals such as Cows, Horses , and any other animal I would let him keep .. he always had a huge heart ..We made him take care of them..get up early before school to feed ...come straight from school to walk, groom, exercise, and train the animals for what they were suppose to be used for. Needless to say we kept them busy. They didn't have much time for goofing off, for playing video games. Many find it very strange that Neither of my children ever owned a Game boy, x box or any of those type things. Our family never owned a computer until Wesley was in his junior year of high school. We made them know that their choices were their responsibilities.
We helped with their projects .. got them where they needed to be but it was their place to do what needed to be done.
I as his mother had to learn that I had to expect the same thing out of Wesley as I had before the accident .. that I could not take on his responsibilities or go ahead of him to pave the way for him so he would not have any hard times.. I had to let Wesley grow up and be the responsible and strong young man that we had taught him to be anything else would have made him uncomfortable.
I can remember the day I finally realized that Wesley was still the independent young man he had always been and that I needed to let him live his life as he needed to. I insisted to help him type his first term paper his freshman year in college which was almost 2 yrs after his accident.. we sit at the computer in his room as I begin to type I could hear Wesley sighing at my side... then he would readjust himself in his chair.. next he would blow like he was hot.. finally I asked him son what is wrong and he looked at me and said MOM I wish you would just let me type this myself with my mouth stick because I am faster than you are with two hands. I knew then it was time for me to move over let Wesley be Wesley and stop trying to make it easy on him.
From that day on we may discuss what he needs to do or what he wants to do or how is the best way to go about it but the final call on anything is his not mine... and if it works we rejoice together and if it doesn't then we work together to see how we can make it work.
Wes accepted his challenged life much quicker than I did but once we both were back on the same page so to speak we were off and running again.

Posted by Tracy Wilson, 24/10/2010 9:38pm (1 year ago)
Wesley, I was anxious to meet you before, but in today's way of putting it, OMG! It gave me goose bumps to read your story in your own words. You have a marvelous attitude and it will sustain you through all you will encounter in the years to come. Ever thought about being a motivational speaker? Not kidding!

My husband was a quadriplegic. He had a similar attitude and I marveled at him. He said he was a better person because of his condition. I didn't know him before he was paralyzed, but he was an awesome person, too. You make me think of him.

Life is what you make it! I believe that you are going to make it something to be very proud of...you are off to a great start! You'll have lousy days, and some really awful ones, too, but you will bounce back...you have already. Just keep bouncing!! Talk to you soon.

Posted by Corkie Maus, 24/10/2010 8:55pm (1 year ago)