Who I’d Be Today

Posted by Wesley Wilson on June 1, 2011 | 7 Comments

Recently, I’ve been reflecting over my life due to reaching the 10 year anniversary of my injury back on May 19^th.  I’ve never seen this accomplishment or anything I’ve achieved so far as spectacular or miraculous.  I agree I have done a lot and seen a lot throughout this journey, but at times, like all people I suspect, I tend to wonder what could have been. 

Before I became paralyzed, I was involved in a lot of activities and extremely busy.  I had future plans and goals like every teenager.  My dreams would lead me to the life I so desperately wanted.  Then I dove into the shallow water and thinking back now, that moment in the water where everything seemed to come to a pause was very symbolic.  My plans and goals all went on pause.  All that mattered was taking every moment one by one while everything hung in a delicate balance.  Eventually, I was out of the hospital and had to redirect my life.  New plans.  New goals.  Basically, a new life.  It wasn’t the life I had chosen but it was the one I was handed by God.  Once I realized that, I knew it had some purpose and that I had to do my best.  I admit that things are tough and much different from what I wanted but this is what I got.  As time passes, I have been realizing that had I not been placed on this course, I would be missing out on so much.  I’ve met people and experienced things that never would have crossed my path before.  Although I frequently have thoughts about wanting to be “normal” and living the life I had planned, but I’m constantly reminded of the great things I’d be missing out on.  Even with altered plans, my life still has meaning and purpose and I still strive to accomplish great things someday.  I suppose I’ll never get rid of that part of me that sometimes whispers, “Why me? Why couldn’t I live the life I wanted?”  But, if I didn’t have that part inside me, then there wouldn’t be anything to keep me in check or allow me to realize that things aren’t that bad.  I guess the lesson I’ve learned is:  Don’t be afraid to wonder what could have been, but remember this is what you got and whether you know the specifics or not, it does have a purpose.  Maybe, instead of asking, “Who would I be?” the better question we should be asking is, “Who can I be?”